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But adolescence is a time of sudden, combustible dramas, when it often feels as though it’s you and your friends squaring off against the world gay teens know there are portions of the world that really are against them, and I felt as if I were walking into one explosion after another. The teens I met didn’t talk much about AIDS – everyone seemed up-to-date on the necessity of the condom.
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“Friends my age all felt the same way – it was something other people had that we never did.” Gay teenagers today are having their youth now. Gay adults, like high school teacher Doug Wortham of Salt Lake City, spoke of having had very different childhoods from those of gay kids now – of being teenagers in hiding. I spent nine months traveling the country and talking to gay teenagers in the West, the Midwest, the North, the South.
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It’s all uncharted territory – how to have boyfriends and girlfriends at school, how to introduce parents to lovers, how to learn to be in relationships at the same time that you’re learning so much else. They’re forging the pattern and template for gay teenage life in America the same way their predecessors did for gay adult life in the Seventies and Eighties. It’s a watershed time: As adolescents have their first sexual experiences at younger ages (fifteen is the average), gay teens are addressing their sexuality earlier and earlier. In 1998, parents might be more unhappy having friends and relatives know that their child smokes than that their child is gay. Tara nods: “I understand where she’s coming from.”
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But I just don’t want to see you on national TV smoking.'” But his parents asked him not to smoke on camera: “My mom said, ‘I know you do this. Greg gets excited and points: “That’s my friend on the right, blowing out a puff of smoke.” Greg, like Tara, like Dylan, is a smoker. Then the image freeze-frames on Greg and some teenagers outside their high school. “I wouldn’t have chosen this.” His father adds, “You know, you tend to want your kids to have a good life, and part of that is not having people hate you.” His mother explains, “I worry about him being hurt.” CBS’ Paula Zahn asks Greg’s parents whether being gay is the life they would have selected for their son.
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Greg is usually fidgety when he isn’t talking – fiddling with his shoes, clicking his tongue stud against his front teeth – but as he watches himself on TV, his body calms. “Now you get to see me with long hair,” he says. Greg has found the videotape and pops it into the machine. “Of all people, why should it bother them?” “That actually surprised me,” he says mildly. People called him on the phone, said “faggot,” hung up in the halls, students would bump him and whisper, “You’re gonna die.” For a year, no one at school would talk to Dylan, even girls. Once a teen comes out as gay, other students are usually eager to remind him of it. They would have literally said to them, ‘Your daughter’s a lesbian, and she’s not welcome here.’ “After Dylan came out, school became a nightmare for him. “And I was so glad that I was out then,” Tara says, bugging her eyes, “because if I hadn’t been, they would have outed me to my parents. About a month after Tara told her mother she was gay, the Catholic school that Tara attended called her parents in and explained that they weren’t comfortable having a lesbian ninth-grader in their institution. His parents – “my mom especially,” he says – are “pretty open people.” This is a distinction I hear often from gay teens: The world is split not into gay and straight but into open and closed. Dylan tells me that he never worried about what his family would think his school concerned him. Every gay teenager I speak with has one: For many of them, coming out was the most charged few hours of their lives, the moment the theoretical part of homosexuality ended, when being gay was no longer something over there, it was you. While Greg searches for his 48 Hours videotape, Dylan and Tara tell their coming-out stories. Tara and Dylan came out the old-fashioned way, without the benefit of television. He’s quiet, toweringly tall, with jeans ripped at the knees and shiny Frankenstein shoes. Tara Conroy is fifteen, small, busty, cheerful, with steel studs in both ears. We’re sitting in a living room with two of Greg’s friends. Asked what it was like to discuss something so personal so publicly, Greg smiles. Greg Whiting, a fifteen-year-old with red curly hair and blue fingernails, has come out as gay three times: once to his parents, once to his school and once to a national television audience on 48 Hours.